Took the kids to see the movie, Sing, on Tuesday. It was a great movie. We all greatly enjoyed it.
At one point in the movie I had to run out, tears pouring down my face as I started to hyperventilate. I had been overwhelmed by the message in the movie, something that forced me to look at myself and reevaluate what I’ve been letting happen to me.
For the past couple of years I’ve been fighting depression and anxiety. A lot of it was tied into the custody battle and the stress of dealing with that, as well as dealing with the feelings of inadequacy and lack of confidence and self-esteem stemming from my previous marriage. On top of that, dealing with whatever is going on with my hands that is making it extremely painful to write or type. These last six month especially have been hard for me and I’ve stopped writing completely.
The moment in Sing when the main character was trying to encourage one of the singers, and telling her “Don’t let fear stop you from doing the things you love.” He encouraged her to get out there and just start doing what you love and once you start, you’ll keep doing it.
I had to leave the theater, overwhelmed. A cartoon was giving me the kick in the pants that I needed to overcome my depression. Overcome my anxiety. Overcome my fears and self-doubts.
I returned to the theater with the sniffles, my loving wife looking at me in concern as tears continued to stream down my face. I told her I’d explain it to her later and settled in to enjoy the rest of the movie, occasionally clearing the tears from my eyes so I could continue watching.
It’s a new year. A new beginning. Time to put those fears behind me and not let them stop me from doing what I love.